There’s a tiny chance you may be one of those people that can stay productive on heroin and create great art while on it, so everyone should try it at least once. /S

For those that might not know: Pacifiers were/are used by people that are rolling/ high on mdma/ecstacy. The drug and/or whatever other drugs the pulls are cut with can cause jaw clenching and teeth grinding.

This illustration is completely wrong.

The man representing hackers isn’t in a fur suit.

Seriously. The dudes thorax looks like he’s had extra organs installed ‘just in case’.

He needs two livers to process all the research chems he probably stacks every day.

Who would play the young upstart that idolizes/challenges a grizzled and worn out Julia Roberts?

Thankfully, it still has acid to soften up your teeth, pleasing the Secret Cabal of Dentists.

Do Swiss trains at least have mechanical twisting sockets to wind your watch?

If the kids don’t have their phone how will they broadcast the next school shooting to their followers or ask ChatGPT what the best hiding spot is nearby?

At least in Chicago, many landlords require references from past landlords when you are applying for a new apartment, so flaking on rent or trashing a place before moving out can doom your future endeavors.

Unless you get lucky and find a private owner to rent from that doesn’t bother with checking backgrounds.

Then you just have to deal with them taking ages to repair anything and letting themselves into your apartment unannounced to ‘check on things’.

As an (US)American, I wake up every morning screaming into the Void.

Then the Void requests a subscription fee.

I’m not legally allowed to sleep until I’ve paid the Void, one way or another.

Delicious.

So much grief could have been avoided if we simply replaced grassy knolls with harmless architecture like book depositories and bell towers.

The sinister panda that has been lurking around the scene of the crime chuckles to itself and capers off.

I was so sad when I found out she was a fake Goth Girl.

Not as bad as when I met Elvira at a signing in the '00s and a middle aged blond woman wearing Mom Jeans and a sweater had taken her place.

Now I’m older and realize that Elvira is very busy and can’t be everywhere at once, so that’s why she hires helpers to fill in for her sometimes.

If you simply cut your hands off these petty grievances will become a distant memory.

People that are rich enough to pay to use a restroom never have germs on their hands anyways, so they just rinse their hands with warm water to participate in the quaint hand washing ritual that the poor insist on perpetuating.

‘They were clearly planning to flee the scene of the crime on an unregistered, potentially deadly, vehicle.’

Oddly enough, I’ve met someone whose peeve was ‘Have a good one!’

They’re like, ‘Have a good what!? Day? Life? Colonoscopy? Be specific!’

Still my go to, though.

If someone is trying to sell me on a cafe or restaurant by saying, ‘Yeah, it’s kind of expensive, but there are great deals on the app…’ it’s no dice from me.

I’m imagining how awful it would be for a German to get into an Uber with an average chatty American driver.