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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: December 7th, 2023

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  • In your original comment that I responded to, it sounded like you’re making the case that mixed and non-white people should start asking white people those questions as a matter of policy, and not just those times when a specific white person asked first. That’s why I was curious what you thought the effect would be.

    That being said, even if you meant that people should only return the question if the white person asked first, that’s something which would just be normal and instinctual for most folks, I would think? Like if someone I’m getting to know asked me my favorite color, I’d probably follow up with the same question after I gave them my answer. So it seemed a bit weird to see a call to action to do something that I would have otherwise thought most people would already be doing (at least in my experience, which I certainly am open to the possibility that my experience is atypical of what racial minorities endure).

    And although I am white, and thus I’m certainly coming from a place of privilege, I am a minority (lgbt) and have had my fair share of experience with inappropriate and/or weaponized questions, so I’m not coming from this from a place of complete naivety. I’m certainly aware that sometimes people will ask questions like “are you the boy or the girl in the relationship” from a place of authentic and unintentional ignorance, but that it’s quite often coming from people whose intent is to be derogatory.


  • Out of curiosity, can you explain what effect you believe this might have?

    I am glad to be wrong, but I feel like most white people in the USA wouldn’t be offended or even find that to be a strange question. They’ll just answer it as best they can: Florida, Sacramento, born in Boise but raised in Fairfield. Or if you press about ancestry, most white folks will gladly say French-German, Irish, etc and then maybe even ask you the same thing because they’re genuinely curious and because it’s a natural way for an otherwise polite, as you put it, conversation to steer once the topic has come up. Probably most wouldn’t even recognize if another person were asking that question specifically to make a point about racism/prejudice/etc.

    I really doubt that many white people have had these types of questions weaponized against them so unless they are made aware of how offensive it can be or how it betrays their own biases/prejudices (which we all have by the way), they may not even know. I would think that explaining how those questions impact you negatively in a supportive and understanding way will get you much further with most people than being retaliatory or intentionally inflammatory.


  • It doesn’t seem to be a super common, general thing where I live. However, there are some more prone to it than others, like places that have a bar and/or otherwise serve alcohol. Typically though it’s only the nights they do live music and that’s most often weekends and around specific holidays.

    Mostly I just avoid pretty much any establishment if they’ve got live entertainment for the night and I’m there to eat as well as talk with others. I avoid any that are particularly egregious in terms of loud music. I have been with a group where we asked if the volume could be turned down on the speakers one night at a live event where we were one of only a few tables in the entire place and it was clear that nobody was particularly interested in damaging their hearing. The manager slowly slinked over to the performers about 5 - 10 minutes after the request, and they stopped playing shortly after.


  • Understatement, I know, but I find this so annoying, and it certainly feels malicious.

    I was just commenting the other day how ridiculous it is that google search results literally serve up malware to people via paid ads. My neighbor was running into issues where her computer kept getting “infected” and a full screen scam would take control, blaring out a loud message that her computer was infected with a virus, that it was infecting microsoft’s servers, and she had to call them now to fix it.

    After investigating, I found out that these types of scams are stored as blobs on Microsoft’s cloud service, but the links are spread via ads in google search. When I tried searching for the exact search terms my neighbor was using on my own devices and my own network, I found out that google was serving me the exact same ads, aka sponsored links. They look like legitimate results for things that people search for, like showing what appears to be a link to Amazon when searching for a product, even the links will say “www.amazon.com”.

    Obviously I told my neighbor not to use Chrome and suggested some browser alternatives. I installed uBlock on all the browsers (including chrome) just to be safe. Then I showed her how to tell when things are ads, even when they are deceiving, and to never click on ads or sponsored links under any circumstances.

    But it’s definitely infuriating that they are serving up malware in their ads, don’t respond to reports in a timely manner, are getting people caught in scams that they allow to advertise on their network but then somehow object to people managing those risks by blocking ads from untrustworthy sources, like google.





  • It’s infuriating (mildly may be an understatement).

    My neighbor ended up getting “a virus” on her laptop. It wasn’t actually a virus as best I could tell, but instead, it was a full screen pop-up browser window with no window controls.

    The scam had a bunch of scary messaging and loud sound playing an alarm with someone stating that the computer was infected and that it was also infecting Microsoft’s servers. Further, the scam insisted that she call the number on the screen or she will face legal issues.

    For an older non-technical person, it was frightening.

    After this happened a second time, I did a little more digging to see if I could figure out what was going on. Virus scans showed no infection and I couldn’t find much online with specifics about what I was seeing.

    Turns out, my neighbor was going to Google, searching for terms like “Amazon”, and then she was clicking the first ad / sponsored link in the results expecting to be taken to the Amazon website. Instead, the sponsored ad on Google search was linking to a blog on Microsoft’s Azure hosting services, which then triggered the full screen non-closable scam.

    I even tested it out on one of my old laptops. Went to Google search, tried the exact search term she used, and sure enough, the same exact thing happened. I reported the ad, it is clearly malicious and a scam. It’s ridiculous that Google actually serves up malicious ads like this. And the ad was up there for days after I reported it. I sincerely hope nobody actually got scammed by it, but I definitely feel like Google should be responsible for any damages/losses.

    I did go ahead and install ad blockers on all her browsers, removed google search from being the default search engine, and showed her how to avoid clicking on ads and sponsored links if/when any slip through the cracks. So, hopefully it won’t happen again.