Microslop promising to improve windows 11 and give users agency back.

5 minutes later…

Soon Microsoft will threaten to kill itself if we leave.

Being in an economic bubble during the age of (over)information is really weird. We’re getting two articles per day confirming that we’re in a big ass bubble but it just keeps on going. I preferred not really knowing how bad things are.

Actors were waiting for instructions from their PR team on how to react.

Trust me bro, just one more data center, bro, I swear, just one more trillion dollar contract and we’ll fix everything, bro please, just a little killing bro, it’ll be fine, trust me.

Weirdest thing about this is that it would actually be comforting to me if there was a villain executing an elaborate plan. Instead it’s just greed that drives it. You put a regular joe through business school, give em a CEO position with shareholders breathing down their neck and they’ll start pushing shit down their customers throats in no time.

They have achieved higher productivity by not using teams themselves.

[drunkenly crashes his car into a home]

“Oh, oh shit, oh guys this open room concept is really elevating this living room into a welcoming space for the entire family”

You guys gotta stop talking like that or I’m going to bing.

I wonder what that person’s answer was when as a kid they got asked what they want to be when they grow up. Fireman? Astronaut? Pedophile PR? Well congratulations.

Don’t give them ideas

It’s horrible. We already had that stuff figured out. Wiki pages and forums to make information accessible even after 20 minutes have passed. Fuck that development and everyone that was/is pushing for that.

Most deadly in relatively young people. If this was a boomer problem there’s be more research.

I find the list of suspected causes quite vague. What bothers me most is the warnings about processed food. So much food is considered processed but which processes/ingredients exactly are causing harm?

What’s worse, a bag of chips or a can of tuna? Nutritionally the tuna wins but where is it on the ass cancer scale?

“Dad, what’s this thing on my Buzz Lightyear action figure?”

“Don’t worry about it, son. That’s for me.”

Are these people that only you can see telling you to burn everything down again, Satya?

I think you underestimate how hard it is to hit such a small target.

Let’s not forget, it took years for Wikipedia to even notice Neelix, the Wikipedia admin who made over 80,000 pages/links about titties.

He was just out there spreading the word of boobah but yeah this stuff can go under the radar for a while.

The problem lies in noticing them in the first place. If you make a thousand legit edits to various articles and then make some slight changes on some rich clients page chances are nobody will register this. Then again we’re on the internet so there’s always at least one guy who’d hyperfocus on monitoring something like this. The hero we need.

“How much to let me poop on your chest?”

“I’m sorry I don’t so this kind of t-[he pulls out 4 32GB DDR5 RAM sticks] …OKEYDOKEY!”