Ah, but have you been raking your forests? Apparently that fixes everything.

What about for after he inevitably says “Oops, tee hee, the ballots were all soaked in gasoline and set on fire, you know how it is.”

But for a brief, beautiful moment, we created a lot of value for shareholders!

Well, he works for that guy, so…yeah.

I think we all know that even if he’d had accurate reports first, he would said the same bullshit. There’s only one way he stops lying, and we’re pretty much all eagerly awaiting it.

On your wedding day

But at least the emotional woman didn’t win, amirite?

No, bring it back and get the full refund, then walk into the store to buy the exact same thing (hopefully not one of the recalled) with the money you just got back.

It’s time for your nap, Mr President.

“We need a bailout or we’re going to have to lay off lots of people.”

“Alright, here’s a lot of taxpayer money.”

“Thanks for the cash. Oh, by the way, we’re laying off a lot of people.”

“Efficiency! It proves we were right to give you all that taxpayer money!”

“I don’t care about you, I just want your vote.” - one of the few times the Yam was honest.

Well, he got their vote. And he still doesn’t care about them.

I hope the cops are keeping an eye on him, because by the time he hits his college years he’s going to be trying to slip unidentified powders into women’s drinks at the bar.

He failed at failing, which is entirely on-brand…

The best part of that incident was how so many people didn’t think it was an attack, just “Yeah, that seems like something a cybertruck would do.”

Try to keep up with me here: what if you could put out the fire and vacuum at the same time?

There was a YT documentary about the difference between Japan and the US. Basically it boiled down to kids in Japan actually being taught how to deal with food in a healthy manner.

But Michelle Obama tried something similar in the US and people lost their fucking MINDS. Healthy food is communism!

Oppo killed and ate OP a long time ago. They’ve just been wearing their skin like a suit up to this point, but their true nature is obvious at this point.

You don’t even need to do that much, if you promise Donnie some of the “revenue”.

Which is why they’re very carefully avoiding Texas, I suspect.