I can imagine price stickers would update daily, and individual users would get personalized discounts on their app.

App-less buyers would pay the baseline price in the sticker, app users would pay less. Like existing loyalty card programs, but with more data collection

All (non-electric) trucks are fire trucks

Nah, it’s a self-funding maritime expedition

Saved you a click: it’s not square-enix’s dragon quest

ACABBNABAC

He really loves FBI merch

On Sept. 11, 2025, the day after Kirk was assassinated, Patel flew into Provo, Utah, on the FBI jet but “would not disembark from the plane without an FBI raid jacket,"

He’s almost as mad as that time in high school he was told to clean after himself.

Maybe that catalytic converter contained illegal immigrants

Who would buy alcohol branded after someone who doesn’t drink?

Thanksgiving meal 2026

The library should just publish a list of cardholders that haven’t returned their books

John doe: borrowed “Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent’s Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground” 15 weeks ago

Have you tried writing on a 10 year old laptop?

Kudos to the firefighters for a job well done

Hi Greenland, here’s our new lease contract for our base, we want to expand our footprint to cover 836,000 sq mi.

President Camacho still had a secretary of education

He is afraid of being publicly identified, that’s why he stayed behind the “Mr. X” persona with a stock profile picture

It could just be noisy data, it’s comparing 365 days of 2024 with ~40 days of 2025

From their website:

The first few days or weeks of a new year are less accurate compared to the end of a year.

I remember hearing that red steel had a multiplayer mode where your objective was played out of the Wiimote’s speaker to keep it secret from other players

It’s also known as the Sea of Cortez

That’s the joke