Thrift

Assuming local anesthetic was used to minimize the pain, a cut to the femoral artery might do it quickly. Google search says it only takes 3-5 minutes, sometimes less depending on the severity of the cut. Might be able to hasten things if you cut the femoral in each leg, too

I both need this and hate this

Holy shit I need this in sticker form so I can slap it on every vehicle with a MAGA sticker in my town.