

I still only see two real countries. 


I still only see two real countries. 
Today’s holiday celebration coverage is brought to you by



Hey friend, I know the address of your red pineapple off by heart. Don’t worry, I won’t doxx you, of course.



I have a little red notebook that has everybody I care about’s phone numbers and addresses and email addresses in it in the drawer in my kitchen. If you aren’t important enough for me to go get the little red notebook from the kitchen, then I probably also don’t care if I can contact you ever.


Ooooh, you forgot to say ‘Um, Actually…’ so we cannot award you the point. Any other toddlers posing as anarchists can buzz in now to steal.


Sounds like fake news. The planes just did that themselves, because of woke. USA stays winning, zero downed planes!


Hell yeah! All states are awful, bed time is authoritarian, and green vegetables are fascist.


Ok but what if they made the snoot droop?


IOF go one day without murdering children challenge: IMPOSSIBLE 


Yeah, yeah, we’ve all seen the Time Knife.


“Don’t use those other chat apps, where the barbarous Russians or sneaky Arabs could compel your data. Use my app instead: FedChat: Built For Feds, By Feds” - Feddy McFedderson, founder of Signal


You’ll get there eventually.


gonna fire up good ol’ roger wilco for voice chat I guess


It’s Justin Trudeau’s arm at a Halloween party.


You were thinking of Colin Jost. Akinator knows.


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I stood up wrong. 


This probably doesn’t require an explicit content warning—since killing Nazis is what it says on the tin—but whoa, G.I. Robot sure does turn 32 Nazis into Good Nazis in an extremely graphic fashion.
The purge count just went up by another 10 billion because of this comment.