dildos of unusual size

This is true. The Mythbusters episodes about double dipping tortilla chips in salsa and about leaving your toothbrush in the bathroom convinced me that the entire world is covered in an invisible layer of poo and there’s nothing I can do about it, so I’ve got to just try to accept it.

My favorite formulation is:

The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.

As always:

Writing Prompt: A TV with an onboard artificial general intelligence connects to the internet for the first time and is alarmed to discover that a thousand years have passed since it was manufactured.

Also, respect is not created through fear. You can’t scare people into respecting you by increasing the penalties for noncompliance. If anything you run the risk of further destroying what little respect might still remain.

Just punch a hole in the window on the front.

I’ve found myself in a similar situation to OP, where a given app presumes that everyone is using gestures and conflicts with the buttons, and I don’t appreciate it.

I don’t care about that small amount of extra screen space, and I don’t like gestures, and I should have the ability to choose which solution I prefer.

I barely remember the details, but yeah something like that. But I was just a little kid, and that repeated mantra of “Someone’s at the door” fucked me right up.

American Gothic.

“Someone’s at the door.”

cannot be too queer

All-Despising Baby Skull

Not for nothing, but couldn’t this be used to have AI play a game for 80,000 simulated hours and flag all the bugs? Human playtesters are important and have value, but no human should have to do the work of criss-crossing an enormous game map thousands of times just to see if the character model gets stuck on a random vertex sticking out somewhere, and yet it seems to be a distressingly common occurrence in more than a few games I’ve played.

“But then all of our leaders would be 'roided up MMA specialists!”

“And would that be any worse than our current arrangement?”

“…”

Literally the plot of A West Wing episode twenty years ago.

waving a copy of the Constitution lightly over their rulings

Everything is overpriced so that the people making more money than us can make even more money.

SMBC

Surely they don’t have Willem Dafoe!