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ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to News@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 years ago

Helene forecast to rapidly intensify and hit Florida as a major hurricane

www.cnn.com

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Helene forecast to rapidly intensify and hit Florida as a major hurricane

www.cnn.com

ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to News@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 years ago
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Helene forecast to rapidly intensify and hit Florida as a major hurricane | CNN
www.cnn.com
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A significant storm threat is developing for the Gulf Coast with just days left to prepare.
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  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Calm down everyone! I’ve been assured that governor Ron DeSantis will be safe inside the hurricane shelter in the governor’s mansion, which will itself be quickly rebuilt, at taxpayer expense, in the event of anything catastrophic. He will be FINE! Go back to what you were doing, Floridians!

    • N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 years ago

      No worries, Floridians. Desantis has a plan to oppress gay people even harder, which will make the hurricanes stop.

      • Mayor Poopington@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Remember, hurricanes happen because of WOKE!

    • 👍Maximum Derek👍@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 years ago

      I would have assumed he was already on route to Martha’s Vineyard.

    • ikidd@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Yah, Meatball Ron won’t be anywhere near that shitshow. He’ll be off in Cali, rejecting FEMA assistance remotely.

  • TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Do we do “thoughts and prayers” for this, or is it “you have to get over it”?

    • AbidanYre@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      It’s too soon to discuss disaster relief.

      • bradorsomething@ttrpg.network
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        2 years ago

        There are too many hurricanes already happening to consider rebuilding.

    • meco03211@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I thought their god only sent natural disasters after the gays.

    • MagicShel@programming.dev
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      2 years ago

      I’m going to wear a hurricane pin on my lapel.

    • barsquid@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I think it calls for an impromptu vacation to Cancun, leaving a dog behind to hold down the fort.

  • BlameThePeacock@lemmy.ca
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    2 years ago

    Has anyone ever thought about moving Florida further away? it seems to keep getting hit by hurricanes. Seems like it would be a win-win for everyone.

    • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      NOAA experts say the hurricane could be narrowly avoided if Trump can win the election and reclaim his presidential Sharpie.

    • RagingSnarkasm@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      You mean out towards the Abacos in the Bahamas?

    • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Someone call Lorena Bobbitt!

    • ikidd@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Maybe somewhere between Australian and South Africa, and 10,000’ down.

    • Zachariah@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Are you saying we should tow it outside the environment?

  • barsquid@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I wish they would put the path projections further towards the top. Looks like it will be traveling north out of the Gulf right at Tallahassee.

  • bradorsomething@ttrpg.network
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    2 years ago

    Can we all calm down and start by determining the storm’s gender conclusively, before bothering with things like “aid” and “disaster relief.”

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