The Department of Homeland Security said it will seek the arrest and deportation of those subject to the policy change if they fail to depart the U.S. in the next 30 days. Officials are urging migrants to use the newly repurposed CBP Home smartphone app to register for self-deportation.

“Please use our smartphone app to register with the gestapo” isn’t the cyberpunk future I wanted.

Easy Mode: Amish Paradise

Hard Mode: Shia LaBeouf

“Hopefulism”? I didn’t know we had a slur for optimists now.

Yes, actually

What suspect? I thought they ruled the bullet wounds were a pre-existing condition and no police coverage is warranted.

So happy I got out of that state. I couldn’t stand the idea of my tax dollars funding this fuckhead’s administration.

This is slightly concerning. Satellites don’t tend to explode on their own, but it is a Boeing design with a history of leaky propulsion, so who knows?

None of those words are in the bible