It’s a war crime, but nothing of relevance will be lost, i say go for it.

If you really want to have Debian without systemd there is always Duvean

Devuan.
And Slackware, Gentoo, Artix and many others, yes.

Use another system.
Change banks. File complaints with them.
Entertainment isn’t relevant to me.

Both of those use LoRa, as Reticulum can, among other media.
I think the comparison ends there.

The systemd age-storage drama was a massive red flag.

There, FTFY.

End users just want their hand to be held by some kind of corporation.

SheepleOS

will start checking for a “compliant” kernel.

Reminds me of all the banking apps that rely on Google’s “secure” crap to run.

How would anyone place a 100% community driven distribution like Debian in such a cage?

By getting the Debian deciding body to approve systemd a while back, for starters.
It’s apparently very easy.

If the compliant, age-gated version becomes the industry standard, where does that leave the rest of us?

With the distros that don’t comply, as always.

Surely not.

You’re still paying for the components, so an out-of-box dumb TV would be cheaper

Based on the components alone, yes, but this is capitalism.
The reason smart tvs are cheaper than that is because of ad revenue.

It really is that simple.

If the TV allows you to use it without connecting to the internet.

Oh it’s never the parents’ fault, they’re Parents.

Slackware too.

Bankers in jail after the 2008 subprime mortgages crash.

While he filmed it on his glassholes.

and CEO’s would have been jailed by now.

I’m going to move to Iceland.

Interrail?

I’m sure universal health care is great where you live.

the generated thumbnails of images on your PC

So the precursor to Recall?